


i'm gonna show you where it's dark, but have no fear

by crushedlittlestars



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: F/F, some late night feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-11-22 12:21:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11380080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crushedlittlestars/pseuds/crushedlittlestars
Summary: shaw makes a late night stop at root's apartment. she has some things to say.





	1. Chapter 1

_“Yeah, sure, Root. Maybe someday.”_

 

Things are quiet, for now. Shaw has finally regained her strength after being held captive by Samaritan, and Root is home, recovering from her wounds.

Shaw pictures her, sitting in her apartment alone, probably coding late into the night and forgetting to eat or change her bandages. _Always such a fucking martyr_ , Shaw thinks, surprised by the twinge she feels in her chest when she imagines Root in pain, without Shaw there to comfort her. (No one has ever called Sameen Shaw _comforting_ , but her gruff attitude and lack of sympathy seems to have this effect on Root, for some reason).

It’s March 7th, and Shaw is sitting alone in a bar. Today would have been her father’s 61st birthday.

Calling what Shaw feels about her father’s death grief would be inaccurate. What she feels is not pain, exactly, but rather a dull ache, the feeling of something missing always in the back of her mind, like a phantom limb. It doesn’t hurt for her in the same way she imagines it hurts for her mother, who loved her father with every ounce of love she had to give. (She loved Shaw in this way, too).

Even so, when she thinks of how her mother must have grieved her father, her mind wanders back to Root. Root, who is powerful and fearsome, but also small, and vulnerable. Root, who flirts with Shaw mercifully, but never oversteps her boundaries. Root, who makes Shaw feel understood, calm, even.

Shaw arrives at Root’s apartment ten minutes later. It’s plain and uninteresting, but in better shape than some of the dumps Shaw has found Root in before. (Shaw needs to have a talk with the Machine about taking better care of Root when she’s too stubborn to do it herself).

Shaw picks the lock, and quietly enters. Root, looking pale and thin in the moonlight, is asleep on the couch, her laptop lying open on her stomach. She startles as Shaw shuts the door behind her.

“Shaw?” Root whispers, bleary eyed and raspy.

“Yeah Root, it’s me,” Shaw replies.

“What are you doing here?” Root asks, wiping the sleep out of her eyes.

“I wanted...to see you. To see if you were okay.”

Root looks surprised, but recovers after a few moments. She sits up on the couch, only wincing slightly. “Oh, I’m doing just peachy. Even better now that you’re here,” she responds, grinning up at Shaw.

Shaw doesn’t react, just remains standing in the living room, arms crossed. Root tilts her head, appraising the silent figure in front of her.

“I was...thinking,” Shaw starts. Root nods, encouraging her to continue. Shaw begins again. “Today was my father’s birthday.” Root blinks, surprised. “I don’t miss him like I know I should, but I feel...something. I feel something when I think about you, too, Root.”

Root stills, her mouth hanging slightly open.

“My mother...she thinks I’m dead. Or missing. I don’t know. So I know she is alone today, missing my father. And me. And Root, I don’t want you to ever feel alone like that. I want to…” Shaw pauses, unable to articulate the way she wants to protect Root, the way she wants to keep her safe, and close, and happy. “I want to stay.”

When Shaw looks up, there are unshed tears gleaming in Root’s eyes. “Are you saying you want to…” Root is at a loss for words, for once.

“I just want to be...with you, Root. We’re partners, right?”

Root smiles at this. “Yes Sameen, we’re partners.”

“Just don’t go expecting any grand romantic gestures, Root. I don’t do that crap.”

“Sweetie, I think you’ve made enough grand romantic gestures for a lifetime,” Root says, thinking of the kiss, then push that nearly killed them both. “I don’t need you to go doing that again.”

“I will always protect you, Root. You were….are...my safe place.”

Root sniffles at this admission, unable to keep her tears at bay. “Root, don’t cry.” Shaw sighs, coming over to sit next to Root on the couch. She gingerly puts her arm around Root’s shoulder. Root leans into the touch, resting her head on Shaw.

Root takes a deep, haggard breath. “I’ve never had anyone care about me the way you do, Sameen. So...fiercely.”

Shaw strokes her hair, thinking of her mother, and all the ways she used to show her she cared.  
“You know I love you, right?”

“Yeah Root, I know.”

“You’re my Sameen. My angry little Sameen,” Root whispers. Shaw rolls her eyes. She can tell Root is drifting off to sleep.

“Yeah, yeah. Go back to sleep, Root. I’ll still be here in the morning. I’m not leaving you, remember?”

“Does this mean you’re gonna make me breakfast in the morning?”

“Don’t push your luck, Root.”

Root lays her head in Shaw’s lap, and Shaw pulls a blanket over her. Shaw listens as Root’s breathing slows, and watches as Root’s eyelids flutter as she dreams. She thinks Root looks beautiful like this, peaceful, and quiet, safely here in Shaw’s arms.

 

In the morning, Root wakes to the sound of bacon sizzling, and thinks she has never been happier.


	2. going home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> at root's prompting, shaw goes to visit her mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone suggested i write this follow-up, so here it is.

It’s Root who suggests it.

A few nights ago, when Shaw had come over bearing her... _feelings_ , Root had been quietly delighted to hear Shaw speak about her relationship with her parents. Root is not surprised that Shaw remains loyal to her mother – she has seen Shaw’s intense loyalty firsthand, and imagines she must still hold some sense of familial honor– but she is pleased to know that Shaw grew up around people who cared for her.

She thinks of how different Shaw’s childhood must have been from her own. (Broken glass, slamming doors).

Root brings it up a few days later. “Shaw...Have you checked in on your mother lately?”

Shaw looks up from the kitchen table, pausing her meticulous ritual of cleaning her firearms. “Why?” She replies, cautiously.

“Well, now that Samaritan is gone, and there’s no one coming after us, I just wondered if you ever thought about going to see her. Letting her know you’re alive.”

Shaw sighs. “It’s been so long. She’s probably accepted the fact that I’m dead, or at least never coming back.”

Root looks at Shaw, and waits for her to return her glance before she speaks. “I’m not pressuring you, Sameen. But from what you said the other night, it seems like your mother must miss you, and maybe it would make you feel better to see her, too. Make you feel more...secure. Grounded.”

Shaw reaches behind her ear, and Root knows Shaw understands her meaning.

“I can find her current address for you, if you want.”

Shaw is silent. After a moment, she nods.

A minute later Root looks up from her laptop. “Anusheh Shaw. 3164 Finwood Road. Edison, New Jersey.”

“That’s near where I grew up.”

“Do you want me to go with you?”

Shaw shakes her head. “But, Root…”

Root stops her. She knows Shaw is grateful, even if she doesn’t say it in so many words. “It’s okay, Sameen. I’ll be here when you get back.”

Shaw nods her head, and grabs her motorcycle helmet as she leaves.

//

An hour and a half later, Shaw is standing in front of her mother’s house. It’s white, with shuttered windows, and a wrap-around porch.

Shaw knocks on the door, and it’s her mother (who else is left?) who answers. She is wearing glasses, and her greying hair is tied up in a tight bun. For a few seconds, Mrs. Shaw remains frozen in the doorway. Once she comes back to herself, she breathes a deep sigh of relief and hugs Shaw tightly. “ _Sameen_.” Shaw only tenses slightly at her mother’s touch.

Mrs. Shaw removes her hands from her daughter, and raises them to the sky. “ستايش خدا! Sameen, come inside, come inside.”

Shaw’s mother takes her into the kitchen, and Shaw remembers the delicious smells that used to emanate from this room every time her mother cooked for her and her father. Shaw almost smiles at the thought.

“Sameen, my Sameen. Are you alright, where have you been?”

Shaw pauses, considering how to answer this question. “My last job...it got dangerous. I had to go into hiding. It was better not to contact you. Safer.”

“And are you alright?” Mrs. Shaw looks over Sameen for injuries, like her father, a doctor himself, might have done after she had pushed too hard on the playground.

“Yes Maman, I’m alright. I was bad...for a while, but I’m okay now. I’m good.” ( _Happy_ is what Shaw almost says, but she doesn’t know if she can vocalize that thought, not yet).

Mrs. Shaw smiles, and Shaw looks at her mother’s kind eyes, remembers how she never made her feel bad for being who she was.

“Do you have people, Sameen? People who can take care of you?”

Shaw looks up sharply at this. “I can take care of myself, Maman.”

“I know you can, Sameen. I know you are strong. So strong.” She grips Shaw’s wrist. “But I still worry.”

Shaw thinks of Root, her teasing compassion, the way she is always nearby in case Shaw needs her, but never too close. “Yeah, I guess I do. I have...friends.” Shaw’s lips twitch at the word, and Mrs. Shaw does not miss this.

“Friends who love you?” she asks, tilting her head at Shaw.

Shaw has known for a while that Root loves her. John too, she supposes. “Yes.” Shaw pauses for a few moments. “I would do anything to protect them. One friend, I almost died...for her. _Would_ have died for her. She almost died too.”

“But you’re both okay?”

“Yes. But I was...(Shaw can’t think of the right word. Angry? Scared? Numb?)... _upset_ when I thought she wasn’t. I didn’t want her to be alone. I don’t want you to be alone, either. Not after Baba.”

Mrs. Shaw smiles at this. She knows her daughter well, like she knows her faith, like she knew her husband. “I am never alone. He is always with me.”

Shaw nods.

“I’m glad you found someone. Bring her next time.”

Shaw stares blankly at her mother, surprised at her immediate understanding that Root is Shaw’s someone. Shaw had almost forgotten her mother’s generosity and wisdom, the kindness with which she treats everyone she encounters.

Mrs. Shaw puts her hands on her daughter’s cheeks, hesitating before she does so in case Shaw wants to pull away. “My Sameen, the protector.”

Shaw thinks that yes, that is who she is. She has two women in her life, the only two women she has ever cared enough to want to protect. The military, her residency – those were jobs. This...this is something else.

Shaw hopes she can live up to the expectations these women have of her, and for the first time, she thinks that maybe she can. As she bids her mother goodbye, she thinks of Root, probably typing away some absurdly complicated code on her laptop, wearing her favorite soft blue t-shirt that Shaw loves to tear off of her.

Shaw takes the long way home, confident Root will be there, waiting for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ستايش خدا = praise god


End file.
